Monday, July 25, 2011

I had a bad day :0(

I woke up this morning and I felt really great. I was well rested, energized and ready to tackle the cleaning that was severely needed in my home. I got off to a great start. I figured that if I started with the kitchen, I should be able to finish that before my doctor's appointment. Dax went down for a nap early and everything was going good.
Kitchen done, diaper bag ready, and all set to go to the doctor ... I wake Dax up - he was even in a pretty good mood. Put him in the car seat and off we go. Or not!!! Last night when we went to Scott's parents house I had put my keys in the backseat of his car and I must have left them there. Shitty. Oh well. I just rescheduled the appointment. Sucks that I woke Dax up but I can bounce back from this (I find it hard to recover from things lately due to the post partum depression). So I start cleaning the motorhome and the garage. Things still looking good. Dax is in a good mood and I'm cruising along.
My mom has a doctor's appointment at 2:00. I'm keeping an eye on the clock because I'm suppose to get a phone call from Doris with the prognosis. The appointment is about the results of my mom's CT scan. Finally at 3ish I get this text
" Im going to the casino with mom & dad, her appointment was not very good its spreading may be stage 4 she probably have to have chemo. I'll call u when I get home"
Wow that sucked. Not a lot of info there. Maybe it isn't as bad as it sounds. I mean if they're gonna do chemo then maybe it's just spread a little bit.
Skip ahead an hour and a bit. I finally get a call from Kaylee - yeah my 9 year old daughter - asking me if I've heard the news yet. I really didn't need to hear that she knew more about the appointment than I did.
Well that's how my great day turned really bad ...
The diagnosis -
The melanoma that was diagnosed just a little over a year ago is now stage 4 malignant melanoma with metastasis in the lung, liver, kidney, and spine. My mom is full of cancer and I am now going to have to watch the most wonderful mom, grandma, great-grandma, wife, sister and dear friend die one of the most agonizing deaths there are. This woman would literally do anything for anyone - even complete strangers. She has such a caring heart and loves everyone. Thus is going to be the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure. She's my mom, my rock, and my best friend. All I can do now is pray that God takes her home with Him quietly and without a fuss so she does not feel any pain.

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