Monday, February 28, 2011

Permission denied

On a side note ... I have some readers coming from another blog ... Lovewaitsforyou. I've clicked on this to see where they are coming from and I don't have permission to view this blog. :0( Not a big deal - I've just always been curious on where my readers come from and was wondering who this one belonged to.

Better and a bit of randomness

I'm feeling a bit better now than I did a few days ago when I wrote my last post. Kaylee and I have been butting heads and I'm dealing with some internal struggles that make me a bit of a non-people person right now. I'm pretty ambitious right now in my head but my body is very lazy. I know what I have to do, and what I want to accomplish but it's very hard to get off my butt to actually do any of it.

It's Kaylee's birthday party this weekend! Yay for 10 annoying 8-9 year old kids invading my home and messing it up. Plus, we are having petland come with 10 different animals to show the kids. Great - my allergies will just love that. What we won't do for our children.

Soooo - that means I should be cleaning my house right now. *sigh* I don't wanna! I'm just too lazy. Plus Scott kinda peed me off so maybe if he has to come home to a messy house I'll feel like I stuck it to him somehow. LOL! That's so bad!!

I'm still debating whether we should move or not but I know it's going to be a ton of work. I thought that if the house was a bit less cluttered then it would be easier to move and then the decision whether to move or not would be easier too. I know Scott doesn't want to go anywhere but he doesn't understand how much this house DOES NOT WORK for us as a young family plus ... I've always kinda hated this house. I have some hoarding tendencies and so the house is pretty cluttered in some places. I thought that in exchange for me cleaning the house up, Scott could seriously consider listing the house this summer. He said yes in words but I know him better then that - it was a no :0( That's why I want him to come home to a messy house and realize that it's all his fault for not letting me get my own way. ((yes - that is very childish of me))

I'm gazing out my from window right now and all I see is swirling snow, wind and plain old yuckiness outside. Arg! Why do we have bills that require us to leave our home in this weather. There should be a law against it! It's the end of february. Come on spring ... you can show up anytime now ... we're waiting!

Oh yeah - good news on the job front. I got another raise. Yay! And I didn't even know about it. LOL. That's what I get for being off work for almost a year already. By the time I go back to work in October I will be making almost 9$ an hour more than I did when I left. A little shout out to the union on that one! That's a pretty nice raise if you ask me. It's enough that I'm reconsidering the whole returning to school thing right now. I may just hold off for a bit longer and let things play out.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

FML ...

and that's all I have to say about that :0(

Friday, February 25, 2011

Thank you ...

Daxon for sleeping through the night!

See I told you ... sneaky! Now I know he can do it - probably wont do it again until he's 3.

Thursday, February 24, 2011


I'm so tired. I need to sleep through the night just once (ok - maybe twice). My baby used to be a great sleeper. Hmmm, I wonder who switched out that baby for the one I have right now. This one, he knows just when to wake up so that I get a terrible sleep. I try to outsmart him but it just doesn't work. He's a sneaky little bugger! I go to bed early to try to catch up on my sleep and he wakes me up at midnight. So the next night I wait until midnight to go to bed and he sleeps until 5. Then for the next few nights he consistently wakes up at 5 so my body gets used to this and automatically wakes me up 5-10 minutes before him - as soon as that happens .... he wakes up at 3:30 instead, or 4, or sleeps all night so I'm laying there waiting for him to wake up. Arg!! Like I said - little bugger! Of course though there are those few precious perfect nights where everything works out and I'm in store for some great shut-eye ... don't forget - I have 2 kids. Its those night where it's Kaylee's turn - and she gets it right every time!

Oh wait - I have a husband remember. So it can't be that bad. Surely he must help. Hahahahahaha! NOT! (slowly shaking my head) He sleep through everything at night and then on the weekends he gets to sleep in. Hmmmm .... that's seems fair right?!? Well according to HIM it is because he WORKS!! Wow - thanks for all the support babe! I will remember that! (like FOREVER) That comment will come back when you least expect it and bite you in the butt! Just watch ...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Holy poop batman

I know that formula fed babies had stinkier poop but ... WOW! I'm a nurse and one the many tasks I have to perform on a daily basis at work includes changing adult diapers. This has never really been much of a problem for me. When I first went into nursing I thought that this was going to be an issue. My first experience was during a practicum in a nursing home. Now don't get me wrong ... it wasn't pleasant at all, it just didn't really bother me that much. It was just part of my job. Smells don't really bother me very much either ....

So I wonder, why is it that this little tiny human can reduce this nurse with an iron stomach to tears with one or two little grunts. His poops smell soooooo bad! And they are so gross. I still think he must have some stomach issues because his diapers are NASTY! Remember the husband gagging during diaper changing video, well since then I have changed just about every poopie diaper. I've tried to get him to do it but he starts with the gagging and everything ... I can't help it - I love the man and just can't see him suffer (LMAO!!). When I leave though and he poops (I love it when he does that!!) and Scott has to deal with it on his own, I'm sure it would be quite the sight! I Got home after one of those outings and noticed that next to the change table there was a shop mask. Too cute! I guess Dax had a pretty rank one while I was out and it was the only way Scott was able to complete the task. Hehe!

Soooooo, the other day it was my turn to change the worst diaper ever and I had to resort to the little mask next to the change table. It was necessary! I still almost puked. Gross! I think someone is going to be potty trained really young ...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

4 Months

Wow, I cannot believe that my little guy is already 4 months old! I has been a heck of a ride so far but hopefully things will start settling down now. He has his 4 month well baby checkup on the 1st so I won't have all numbers until then but I'm guessing he is about 15 lbs already. Doesn't matter though cause I know he's a chunker just by those super big chipmunk cheeks of his ...
From the picture above you can also see he has rosy red cheeks too. He is in full fledged teething mode right now. I can just start to see the first tooth popping through on the bottom of his mouth. The whole thing was looking bad. He was so cranky. We had a photographer come to our house to take pictures and he ended up having to leave without finishing the shoot because Dax just wouldn't stop crying. It was pretty horrible! So last week I went and bought him a hazelwood necklace. It's so cute. My little guy looks so handsome in it.

Not only is it super stylish it's also very effective (in my opinion anyway - Scott isn't as convinced as I am). Since about 2 days after I put this necklace on him he is a completely different baby. Even my in-laws noticed the difference right away. It's amazing! He is now a happy baby! Yay! I always wanted a happy baby and now I've got one! He plays and smiles all the time. He's teething ... and is still smiling. Can you say MIRACLE!

In the past few weeks we've tried a few times to give him some food but it was pretty disasterous and he never ended up swallowing any of it. Made a good mess though and just looked at us like we were nuts! We got a few laughs out of it.

Ahhh, Gross!!

Yesterday ... on the eve of the epic 4 month birthday (the very minimum that "everyone" says it's socially acceptable to feed your baby solid foods) he actually swallowed the rice cereal and LOVED it!

Mmmmm ... he hardly even made a mess!

And he ate it all

Dax is getting to be such a big boy. He is really starting to play and interact with the world around him. While he is still too little for his excersaucer and absolutely hates the bumbo chair, he loves his jumparoo!

Not only am I feeding him solids when most people think it's too early ... I also let him watch TV, and he loves it! Every morning we watch Busytown Mysteries on CBC, then we watch Lets Make a Deal and the Price is Right. He likes this but his real TV love is watching hockey and football with Dad (or really anything as long as Dad is right there).

Like father ... like son ....

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Ahhh ... I want spring! Like NOW!! Sometimes I hate living in Saskatchewan. It was beautiful yesterday, +4C. Then it snowed .... like crazy! Now the roads are terrible and I have to shovel again. It woudn't be so bad if it was still nice out but nooooo, It's freezing again today :0( SUCKS! Winter can't possibly last forever, Can it???....

I still haven't heard from my brother about how it's going at home with the new baby. I'm still a little worried but I'm sure all is fine and they just have no extra time now that they have newborn at home with them.

Scott has a 4 day weekend starting tomorrow and Kaylee has her winter break next week so will be home all week! Ahhh! There goes our routine right out the window. LOL. It's all good ... I love my family and am glad that I will get to spend a little extra time with them.

I put one of Dax's pictures in a photo contest. I think this picture is just extra cute!

Just look at those eyelashes! - if you decide you'd like to vote ...

I am part of an online mom's forum and just wanted to say congrats to one very special lady. We started trying for our babies at about the same time and it took me about a year to get pregnant. Now finally after month after month of heartbreaking negative pregnancy tests and many failed fertility treatment cycles she has finally got that precious little bean growing in her belly through her first IVF cycle. I'm so happy for you Sam!!

Happy Thursday everyone!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

more pictures ....

My little munchkins!

Freshly baptized

Having a great nap after mass

Me and my parents

Kaylee and Dax
Happy Vanlentine's Day!

Look at those cheeks and serious little face!

Last year

One year ago this past weekend was the opening ceremonies for the Olympic games in Vancouver, BC. One year ago this past weekend was the day that Daxon was conceived. Happy one year of existence my sweet little boy! Mommy loves you!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Baptism weekend

I think my expectations of myself and my family are a little too high....
We had a pretty good weekend and I'm now exhausted. On Friday I made lasagnas for supper after the baptism. I made my own noodles and all. Normally it takes me about a half hour to make a batch of noodles and since I made 2 it should have taken me about an hour. Add about an hour for the sauce and then assembly - that equals about 2 hours. Now add in a cranky teething baby = 6 hours to make 2 lasagnas. Crappy! My parents showed up about half way through my ordeal. I thought maybe they would help ... nope. They came in, brought their stuff for the weekend and then left for the hospital. I'm not real upset about this though because my mom is really worried about her brother (more about that later...). Scott was going to try to come home after lunch but he wasn't able to. In the end I was pretty tired and it was a pretty rough start to my weekend.

Saturday, Dax slept until 8:30 which was a god sent and then Scott said that I could sleep in some more. Sooo nice except the fact that Dax started screaming when Scott was changing his diaper and there was no way I could sleep through that (I didn't know why he was screaming). Oh well it was a nice gesture. We spent the day getting everything ready and then went over to his parents' house. Mass was at 5pm and we were suppose to be there about a half hour early. So we were at the IL's house and Scott, of course, was playing on the new 3D TV and waited until the last minute to get ready. Then I had to get Dax and Kaylee ready to go. It was pretty hectic.

We finally got there (late as always). They went through everything that was going to happen. I asked Scott's brother and sister in law (godparents) to be there a bit early so that they had an idea what to expect also. Of course everyone was late and only showed up a few minutes before it was time for mass to start (Scott's grandma and aunt and uncle never did make it at all). No one had an idea what to do. Then Dax started to fuss ... then cry ... and then at one point scream during mass. Father Lawrence even used Dax during his homily because of the fuss he was making. I was so embarrassed. Scott's Dad took picture for me (they ended up really nice) and Curt took a quick video of the baptism itself.  You can tell that no one knew what was going on. Then after the mass was over I wanted pictures. Everyone was getting ready to leave. I just wanted pictures. So I had to be pushy and bossy and pretty much had to make everyone stay so that I could get pictures of my son at his baptism. Sucks - but I got them.
In the end my son got baptised and that is all I really wanted.

We went back to my IL's for supper and it was all really good. We had the lasagnas and salads that I made, plus a ham and dumplings that Scott's parents made. Lloyd (Scott's dad) made a bunch of homemade pies. They were so good! My favorite is the chocolate pie. Mmmmm! Dax was so tired after all this. He was so grumpy. I managed to get just a few more pictures with his other grandma and aunt and uncle. I put him to bed on the spare bed and he fell right asleep. He was having such a good sleep. We stayed and played some games until about midnight. I was so scared to move Dax when it was time to go. I put him in the car seat and he only fussed for a minute then went right back to sleep. When we got home and I put him to bed, he fussed for about a half hour and then slept until 7am. It was such a relief. I just wish I would sleep better. I'm so overtired lately. It makes everything so much harder to handle.

Ok - enough with the play by play. That's getting pretty boring. In all it was a good weekend but all the little things that went wrong just about drove me nuts. I hate how everything with Scott's family is last minute or that they are always late. It drives me nuts!

Side notes -
-I'm gonna be an auntie again! Yay! Scott's brother and sister in law (Kelly and Alex) are pregnant. Due in October! Our babies will only be a year apart. That will be fun!
-I think my nephew Jason is home now. They were suppose to be release on Friday but I haven't heard anything. I assume they are at home now.
-My kids are cute! (But that's because they take after their mom....)      :0)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Busy weekend ahead

I look back on some of my previous posts ... Wow I'm whiny! As much as it may not reflect it ... I am happy with my life. I have a great husband who really tries hard to help me be happy, a daughter who is going through a tough time right now but she's healthy and overall happy, and the cutest little son ever, who although had a rough start is doing extremely well. I have a beautiful house, 2 nice vehicles, a good job, etc ... I have no real reason to complain. Why is it then that I feel so miserable sometimes? Arg! I need to shape up!! Darned hormones (thats my excuse and I'm sticking to it)!

Speaking of shaping up ... I NEED to start at the gym again! I keep putting it off and I'm never going to get back at it if I keep doing that. We are planning a summer vacation that involves many bathing suits and I don't want to feel self conscious in one. I will just make myself feel terrible if I don't get on this. I should maybe start my diet plan again too. I have 18 or so weeks left of that which is roughly 4 or so months so that would put me at my goal weight just in time for summer. If I wait any longer I will be too late. Ahhhh!!! But I LOVE being lazy and eating junk food... See where my problems lay!

This weekend is Daxon's baptism. It's going to be so busy. I think I forgot to invite just about everyone. There are just a few people coming but enough that it's stressing me out already. I'm making lasagna with homemade noodles, macaroni and potato salads, and buying costco cake (I can only do so much). Ok - I'll start my diet exercise on Monday - lol - see there I go again! I still have to make everything plus need a baptism outfit for Dax. Scott doesn't get it. He thinks we just buy any random white outfit and then wear in on him until he grows out of it. Sheesh - doesn't he know you have to keep it and put it away for when he is older and maybe has a boy of his own. "shaking my head". Luckily my in-laws have offered to have the supper at their house so I don't have to spit shine my house in preparation for company.

Well I guess with all that I have to cook and get ready - I should probably get started. Have a good weekend my blog friends!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Small changes

I guess its been a while since I wrote anything so I thought I'd better get on that.

Dax has decided to be a bit more needy lately. I think it's mostly due to his dad spoiling him rotten on his days off. I just love watching the two of them together. Dax just looks so much like his daddy. When Scott is home he seems most content just laying next to Dax on the floor watching TV together. He is just amazing with Dax. In many ways it hurts my heart that Kaylee didn't get that. She didnt get that love from her daddy. She grew up with just a mom. A mom that was very busy trying to keep a roof over our heads and still trying to figure out what to do with her life. I tried. I tried to give her a good life. I tried to show her - lead her in the right direction. Now I know she's only 8 and that there is plenty of time left. I have not given up on her at all. I just wonder sometimes if it's my fault the way she is and if she will grow out of it or if it's just the way she's always going to be. Did I screw it all up. Did I screw up my daughter. I had a pretty bad temper before I met Scott. He's done wonders for my demeanor. I once got so upset that I kicked a cupboard (go Jenn!) and broke 3 of my toes. Now I don't do that anymore but my old temper does rear it's ugly head once in a while. So anyway ... Kaylee has a pretty good little temper going on. Now I imagine this is from her learning it from me. I wish I knew how to teach her to control it. She is really mean and bossy to her friends. To everyone for that matter. She always needs to be in control. I'm like that too. I have a pretty strong type A personality and see that she is following right behind in my footsteps ... I want to show her/be more patient with her. I pep talk myself just about everyday. Today I'm going to play with her, give her more attention, help her clean her room/basement so she can learn to be responsible, and so forth. I want to lead her in a new direction.

I need to know what other families do. Scott gets home from work and he watches TV. He does that until bed, then goes to bed and watches more on his phone. I'm not ok with it while he's at work and I'm at home but once he gets home I seem to just tag along. I don't know if it's just because I want to spend time with him or because by that time I don't have a lot of energy left to do anything but sit on the couch. The other night Scott and I played cards. I'm a horrible loser and tend to whine and pout (not in front of my kids if I can help it) but it was fun and different. Is that what other families do? Do they play board games, go for walks, sit at the table for dinner or is that just in the movies. Do actual families do the same as we do. Are we more like the typical family? Dont get me wrong. I don't want to change everything. I just want to do a few things a little differently. Like eat dinner at the table as a family. Every night! I work hard making dinner and it hurts sometimes that we all just sit there eating absently while fixated on a 58" screen. I've already made the rule that Kaylee has "technology" lights out at 7:30 every night. That is 1 hour before bedtime. She can use this time instead to wind down, get ready for bed and read a book. She loves to read - but gets distracted. I want to influence her to read more. It's good for her. I would also like to not watch tv until after the kids have gone to bed, starting with just one night a week. Really this shouldn't be that hard. Scott doesn't get home until 5:30-6:00. We eat (at the table), then play a game or something of the sort. Kaylee is in bed (not sleeping but in bed) at about 8 and Dax goes to bed at about the same time. That is really only 2 hours from the time Scott gets home to the kids' bedtime. I'm gonna try it....

Dax is up now - time to start running. Lol. Have a good day everyone!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Wow, I'm impressed with the people who can blog everyday. I think it's really hard to accomplish that. Maybe it's just me. I guess my life isn't very interesting so its hard to come up with something to say.

Yesterday my husband stayed home with Dax and I. It was really nice. Especially because one of my fillings fell out over the weekend and had to make my first trip to the dentist in over 3 or 4 years. I was NOT looking forward to it (but was anxious to get it fixed because it hurt). I went in with a brave face and the freezing and filling weren't actually all that bad. I closed my eyes when they started with the ambesol to numb the needle area and so didn't even see when the needle was occurring. I really didn't even know it was done until they started with the drill. It was quick and pretty much painless (that part). Then they told me that I have one more filling that needed to be done at a future appointment and that my teeth needed a cleaning really badly. They got me in right away for the cleaning. That was the awful, painful and just plain old terrible part of my appointment. It hurt so bad when she was scraping at my gums that were already sore and inflamed. It took 2 appointment slots to get it all done and in the end she couldn't do the polish because my gums were too sore and swollen. The hygienist said that I did good though and that most people would have required her to freeze their mouths to get it all done (because it had been a while). I wont let it go that long again. That was so ouchy! Today though the swelling is way down and my gums feel much better! I'm pretty happy about dental insurance too as that appointment was over 600.00. I couldn't believe it. No wonders people don't go to the dentist if they aren't insured unless they have to. Wow!

Daxon is doing good. He seems to be mostly over his cold now and is sleeping better again. We average about 10 hours straight at night before he wakes up. I love it. If he goes to bed at 9 (which I think is a little too late) then he sleeps all night until 7-7:30. If he goes to bed at 7:30-8 (which is perfect) he will sleep until 5:30-6:00, have a bottle and then go back to sleep or just lay in bed and coo and babble until we get up at 7-7:30. Its very nice. He's still doing good on the lactose-free milk so we are going to be leaving him be. There is no price advantage to changing him to the regular unless we switch brands. We have not heard back from our insurance providers yet about covering the hypoallergenic milk. If they do decide to cover it we may switch back to that because he did do a bit better on it plus we would be saving money.

Not much new with Kaylee. She's just my regular ray of sunshine. Especially when she yells at me and tells me she hates me every single day! She told me that she doesn't mean it and she can't control what she says. I explained to her that she has total control over herself and she just has to learn how to do it better. It is hard to be patient with her when she frustrates me so much but I guess I have to learn too. I did tell her that if she didn't stop yelling and telling me that she hates me then I'm going to have to start punishing her - starting off with taking all her toys and playthings away. She wasn't happy about that. We had a good morning today though. It was great. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that she went to bed earlier than usual last night. I think a new earlier bedtime may be in her future...

Scott has an appointment with a surgeon on Thursday morning. I'm not sure yet if I'm worried about the whole situation or not. I will re-evaluate this on thursday afternoon.

I am having some difficulties with my career choice right now. I have never really known 100% what I wanted to do "when I grew up". You can tell this by the amount of post secondary schooling I have completed. I did always have 2 ideas though - teacher or nurse. And I have always wanted a degree - I want to be the first in my family to be a college graduate. I don't know if its because everyone said that I would never amount to anything in my life or what but it's something that I have always held on to. After I graduated high school I went to university to become a meteorologist. Wow - I had no idea ... Anyway that only lasted about 1/2 a year and I met a guy, got married and ran off to the US for a bit. Got divorced, came back and thought I'd try it again. Back to university but this time to be a psychologist. Drank a lot, partied way too much, got pregnant and flunked out pretty much. Had a baby, went on welfare, got a few minimum wage jobs and then landed at good one at a daycare. I really liked that one and I went to school and got my early childhood development certificate. I stayed in that for 2 or so years and learned that EI would pay for me to further my education. The local college was offering a course to get a youth care worker certificate. This would allow me to work in the schools as a education assistant or in the community working with youth, or social services, etc. I completed this course and really loved it. I ended up getting a job a my old high school, working with some of my old teachers. It was really neat (considering they all used to hate me - lol). I did really well and loved working with the kids (teenagers). The following year though I was transferred to the French immersion school to work as a speech and language assistant. I didn't like this very much but realized in this time that I wanted to be a teacher. It was fun and I loved working with the kids. They liked me too. It was a great connection. In January of that school year I gave up my job and started university (again) through the local college. Only this time I actually finished a term and passed all my classes with good marks. I was finally ready! Now you have to understand something with me. I'm easily distracted, very impatient, and I'm a little lazy. When something is hard, or is going to take some time I tend to look for an easy way out. I started the spring session at the U of S and was commuting 3 days a week for classes. I really hated this and it started me thinking that if I wanted to do this then I would have to move. I am not a big fan of saskatoon so I was dreading this. Plus I had all my help in North Battleford, my family, my support system. If I moved, I would be all alone (boy don't I know that now). So this line of thinking got me looking in a whole new direction. What could I do that would be easier to get done. What could I do that would not require me to leave home. I started searching the internet for courses, colleges, anything that would pay better than just a EA like I was before. I came upon the Norquest College website. This intrigued me because their classes were all online and they had a licensed practical nurse program. It wasn't the degree that I wanted but it was a good job with a relatively good paycheck. I even found funding that I could get that would help me pay for just about all of it and burseries when I graduated which would guarantee me a job. I was pumped. I didn't even think it over all that much. Sure I would have to do some nights and weekends and stuff but I was single and I had my parents to help me with Kaylee - so no big deal. I did it. I quit university and enrolled in the lpn program. I started working at the Saskatchewan Hospital as a special care aid to give me an idea of what nursing would be like and brought my school work there to do when it was slow on my night shifts. It went really well. I was flying through my classes and getting good marks. I think working at the Sask hospital gave me a false sense of what my future career was going to look like. Working there was a piece of cake, a walk in the park (literally - we did it all the time with the patients). This was all going to work out perfectly. I had a job when I was done, my schooling paid for. It was gonna be great! (no offense or regrets in the following parts - just stating how this actually turned out) When I was just about done my program I met Scott and fell in love (easily distracted again). I stopped working all the time and picking up night shifts. I spent most of my time traveling back and forth to Saskatoon to see him (even though I hated the commute). Our relationship progressed quickly which was fine for me because I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I finished my program just after we moved in together (in Saskatoon - boo!) and I got a job on a medical ward at a hospital (not anything near what I had in mind). It is really hard work. I have never been so physically and mentally exhausted as when I get home from a 12 hour shift. This is a far cry from what I thought I would be doing with my diploma. I had visions of tame mental patients or new babies in the maternity unit. This is poopie adult diapers, festering wounds, death. I'm not very happy in this place that I am at right now. I was almost relieved that I had to go off work early due to my pregnancy (although I always wanted to be that cute pregnant nurse with the huge belly under her scrubs). I have to go back to work in October. It's february now. That is not that far off. I think of Daxon getting older and I see it not as him 3 months old but as me only 9 months away from having to go back to work. I want to be the teacher I was suppose to be. I wish everyday that I did not look at that website that day. Its funny that I had all these plans and not one of them turned out and now I am stuck in a job that I hate. I'm really unhappy about this and would like to rectify a wrong that I truly felt I did. I now live in Saskatoon. The university is a 10 minute drive from my house. I want a Monday to Friday job where I don't have be without seeing my kids and my husband for days on end. I don't want to be so exhausted when I get home from work that I don't even have the energy to do more than shower and eat then go to bed. I want to be at home for the summer, Christmas, Easter, every time my kids don't have school. I want to teach. I want to do what I felt good doing. I want to anything but what I am doing. I have panic attacks when I think about going back ther. I really hate myself and my decision making skills when I look back. My husband thinks that I should go into accounting instead. It's not a bad idea compared to some that I've had but I. Still not sure. He would be able to get me a good job. I would be home on weekends and at night with my family. I wouldn't be so exhausted that I couldn't think. I am worried though that I would do it, get my degree, work for a few years and then wish I had done the teaching thing again. I really think that I would enjoy it though because his job deals with a lot of research, reading and problem solving which I love to do. It really isn't something I have ever given any thought to. In either case I have university classes that I have to get in order to obtain a degree. I will start there and move forward as the decisions are made. In any case ... I am now a university student again! Will I get my nursing degree, teaching degree or accounting degree? Stay tuned ....

I guess I found stuff to blog about after all - LOL!!