Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Small changes

I guess its been a while since I wrote anything so I thought I'd better get on that.

Dax has decided to be a bit more needy lately. I think it's mostly due to his dad spoiling him rotten on his days off. I just love watching the two of them together. Dax just looks so much like his daddy. When Scott is home he seems most content just laying next to Dax on the floor watching TV together. He is just amazing with Dax. In many ways it hurts my heart that Kaylee didn't get that. She didnt get that love from her daddy. She grew up with just a mom. A mom that was very busy trying to keep a roof over our heads and still trying to figure out what to do with her life. I tried. I tried to give her a good life. I tried to show her - lead her in the right direction. Now I know she's only 8 and that there is plenty of time left. I have not given up on her at all. I just wonder sometimes if it's my fault the way she is and if she will grow out of it or if it's just the way she's always going to be. Did I screw it all up. Did I screw up my daughter. I had a pretty bad temper before I met Scott. He's done wonders for my demeanor. I once got so upset that I kicked a cupboard (go Jenn!) and broke 3 of my toes. Now I don't do that anymore but my old temper does rear it's ugly head once in a while. So anyway ... Kaylee has a pretty good little temper going on. Now I imagine this is from her learning it from me. I wish I knew how to teach her to control it. She is really mean and bossy to her friends. To everyone for that matter. She always needs to be in control. I'm like that too. I have a pretty strong type A personality and see that she is following right behind in my footsteps ... I want to show her/be more patient with her. I pep talk myself just about everyday. Today I'm going to play with her, give her more attention, help her clean her room/basement so she can learn to be responsible, and so forth. I want to lead her in a new direction.

I need to know what other families do. Scott gets home from work and he watches TV. He does that until bed, then goes to bed and watches more on his phone. I'm not ok with it while he's at work and I'm at home but once he gets home I seem to just tag along. I don't know if it's just because I want to spend time with him or because by that time I don't have a lot of energy left to do anything but sit on the couch. The other night Scott and I played cards. I'm a horrible loser and tend to whine and pout (not in front of my kids if I can help it) but it was fun and different. Is that what other families do? Do they play board games, go for walks, sit at the table for dinner or is that just in the movies. Do actual families do the same as we do. Are we more like the typical family? Dont get me wrong. I don't want to change everything. I just want to do a few things a little differently. Like eat dinner at the table as a family. Every night! I work hard making dinner and it hurts sometimes that we all just sit there eating absently while fixated on a 58" screen. I've already made the rule that Kaylee has "technology" lights out at 7:30 every night. That is 1 hour before bedtime. She can use this time instead to wind down, get ready for bed and read a book. She loves to read - but gets distracted. I want to influence her to read more. It's good for her. I would also like to not watch tv until after the kids have gone to bed, starting with just one night a week. Really this shouldn't be that hard. Scott doesn't get home until 5:30-6:00. We eat (at the table), then play a game or something of the sort. Kaylee is in bed (not sleeping but in bed) at about 8 and Dax goes to bed at about the same time. That is really only 2 hours from the time Scott gets home to the kids' bedtime. I'm gonna try it....

Dax is up now - time to start running. Lol. Have a good day everyone!

No comments:

Post a Comment