My last few posts are all chipper about my darling daughter, adorable son and wonderful husband, well ... Blah, blah blah! Today is a bad day and I've had a few of these since my "adorable" son came to be. I know that I probably am getting all that I deserve since I was pretty bad in my younger years but I figured that since I turned my life around that it should count for something.
Christmas is in just a few days and I have nothing under the tree. It's so sad. Kaylee, Dax and I just got back from our little outing. It was suppose to be us going to see dad at work, then lunch, a little Christmas shopping at Costco and then the mall where I could wrap up my shopping for everyone except Kaylee (since she was with me) and photos with Santa. Well we did fine up until lunch. Just when my lunch arrived, Dax decided that it was time for him to start screaming. He didn't even open his eyes to figure out the situation first - he just started screaming. So I went for the bottle. He still screamed and screamed and screamed. We had to leave. It was embarrassing.
Yes ... I have that baby. The one who cries all the time. It makes me so sad. I just want to enjoy my baby. But I can't. I do my best everyday not to hate him. It's not his fault. We don't know what the problem is. We've tried gripe water, oval drops, 0-9 colic, Bio Gaia drops, lactose free milk and every kind of hold you can think of other than upside down. I don't get it. He is just not happy. He's 2 months old already and still doesn't really smile. All I can figure is that he feels he just doesn't have anything to be happy about. I can't go anywhere with him because if he wakes up - he cries unless he is entertained constantly and even that most of the time doesn't help. I just wish we could figure it out. Last 2 steps are treatment for acid reflux and hypoallergenic milk (which is about $80 a week but totally worth every penny if it works). I'm sad though that no matter if it does work I can't get this time back with my son.
My daughter is another issue. I don't know if it's because of the new baby or her becoming a pre-teen but she's horrible at times. She is so mouthy and just does not listen at all. I really don't know how much more I can handle.
My husband, well ... He tries ... I think. I love him dearly but I've changed everything for him and I really think that he has taken advantage. We don't go out, we hardly ever do anything outside unless it's shovel the drive and walkway and I'm bored. I don't want to look back on my life when it's done and say ... Wow - what a boring, uneventful, non-fun life I lived. I sometimes resent the fact that he is so content just sitting there in front of the tv just watching without a care in the world. I want to do something-anything!!!! Please!!!!
Well that's it. It really has been a bad day. God I hope tomorrow is better.