It's been a loooong time since I was here! Wow! It isn't like I haven't thought about posting ... it's just that I've not really wanted to post anything. I would then have to say how I feel and how I'm doing and blah, blah, blah. I don't like myself very much right now and don't really want to admit that to anyone. But I will anyway....
I'm fat!! I hate myself. I hit my top weight ... the weight that I told myself that if I ever got to it, I would kill myself. Well that was before I had kids and a husband and I really don't want to die so I'm gonna do something about it instead of give up. I'm determined now!!
So what am I going to do about it that I haven't already tried? Like the hundreds of diets, costing me thousands of dollars just to have me drop weight and then gain it all back plus more ... nope. How about exercising until the cows come home (and trust me, I live in the city, they NEVER seem to come home!!!) ... nope - not that either.
I'm going for surgery. Yup! Now don't you DARE think to yourself that I'm taking the easy way out. There is nothing easy about this. Not only am I going to Mexico to have surgery because the waiting list here is years long and I don't even qualify because I am not fat enough YET, I have to do a 4 week pre-op diet consisting of high proteins, then full fluids and then clear fluids, then I have to go have major abdominal surgery (I will tell you more about the procedure later), then possibly up to another 8 weeks of post-op diets and then I have to change the way I eat for the rest of my life. I have to exercise and eat healthy for the rest of my life. To me - that does not sound like an easy way out!!
About the surgery itself, I am going through a local company called Weight Loss Forever https://www.weightlossforever.ca/index.php . They are phenomenal! I will be getting the vertical sleeve gastrectomy, which is when a surgeon laproscopically removes about 80-85% of your stomach to make you eat less and consume less calories. It also makes you less hungry because the section of the stomach that is removed produces the hunger hormone. The way the food enters and exits your stomach is the same though so you still get all your nutrients and there's no dumping syndrome like with other bariatric surgeries.
This is where the change of scenery comes in. In more than one way ... not only am I going to look better and feel great, but this blog is going to become a way for me to document my journey to a new healthy me!