Daxon's birth and NICU stay

     Daxon was born at almost full term. He missed it by just over a day. I don't know if that day would have made a difference or not and I guess I will never know. For a while after his birth I questioned myself everyday - Was there ANYTHING I could have done differently? I came up with a million and one ways but will once again never know if I was right.
     On Tuesday (October 19th) I went for my prenatal visit with a different doctor as mine was away on holidays. My blood pressure was up and I was retaining a lot of water and had gained 6 lbs in 6 days. OB thought that I was developing hellp syndrome so sent me to the hospital for observation overnight and induction in the morning.
     At 9:10 am on October 20th they placed the cervadil in and I had only 2 contractions the first hour. Got up and walked for an hour and had back pains and some contractions but nothing regular. Hooked me up to the monitor for another half hour and only had a few little contractions. Walked a little and they started to become more regular. About 12 they started coming at about 3-4 mins apart but weren't very strong. Checked me at 1 and I was 3 cm and 80% so they took the cervadil out and sent me over to the labour and delivery ward.
     Got to the L & D ward at 2pm and they started an iv as I was gbs + and started getting the meds for that. At about 2:30 were going to start the pitocin but the anesthesiologist was going into surgery in a half hour for 2 or more hours so I decided to get the epidural then. It was great and I hardly felt a thing. Contractions pretty much stopped after that and the pitocin was started. Laboured for the next few hours without a worry in the world. Baby was tolerating the contractions just fine and I hardly felt anything. Water was broke at 5:20 and was 4cm and 100%. At 8 I was checked again and was 5 cm but labour had pretty much stopped again. Turned up the pitocin and contractions started again at 1-2 mins and were very strong but still painless.
     At 9 I all of a sudden started to get sensation in my right side only. It was horrible. The pains were searing and so strong but only on the one side. I suddenly got the urge to push and was checked again and was 10cm and ready to go but the baby was still really high. OB said I should wait a little to push because of how high he was and she didn't want me to tire out but the contractions were so painful and the urge so strong she let me do a couple practice pushes and I brought him right down. She gowned up and I did small grunty pushes until she was ready. Started actual pushes and he was born in 2 contractions and 6 minutes. I ended up with 2degree tear and just a few stitches but only because the was born with his hand next to his head. His cord was around his neck twice and he had a true knot in the cord also (pretty rare and can be very dangerous). All the doctors stopped and stared at it for a minute.
      Daxon Bauer Ehrmantraut was born on October 20, 2010 at 9:29 pm. He weighed 6lbs, 12oz and was 19 incles long.
     Day 1
Right after Daxon was born he was placed on my chest and I knew immediately that something was wrong. He wasn't crying and he was very grunty. They left him there and was rubbing him and trying to stimulate him for about a minute. I could hear them say that they had to call in the NICU team. They took him off me and brought him to the table to work on him. I sent Scott over to watch him because I don't think he really knew who to be with - Daxon or me. I didn't really know exactly what was going on because the doctor was busy cleaning and stitching me up but I remember trying to look beyond them to see my little boy. I became more and more concerned as he still wasn't really crying. My husbabd said it was the scariest thing that he has had to endure in his life so far. I was just mad at him for not taking pictures - lol. After 15 or so minutes it was decided that it would be best if Daxon was taken to the NICU to try and figure out his breathing issues. Scott carried my little boy to me and placed him in my arms. I had him long enough to take one look and snap one picture and then they took him from me and out of the room.

     I was cleaned up and I showered and was brought to my room on the post partum unit. We were told that we had to wait an hour then we could go down to see Daxon. It was the longest hour ever. I remember thinking very bad things in that hour (ended up being much longer by the time I was done showering, being transfered, and received into care in my new room). I finally went into see my sweet little boy at 11:30 that night. I was so scared. There were so many rules. We had to call the unit from my room to see if it was ok to come in. Then when we got down to the unit we had to call again (1847 I will always remember that number). Once we were given the go ahead to come in we had to wash our hands then sanitize them. I was shaking so badly - all I wanted to do was cry. This couldn't be happening to me, it only happened to other people. We stood there and looked around. We didn't even know where to go. Finally someone came and got us and took us to our baby. He was so precious.

     They told us that they really didn't know what the problem was but they were doing tests and had him on a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine in the meantime. I just sat there and watched him sleep. He was hooked up to so many wires and machines. I was so scared to touch him. He was breathing so fast. His respiratory rate was between 100-150 breaths per minute. He still looked so blue. It was heartbreaking. There was not much more for us to do that night and the nurses were still working on him so I went back to my room and Scott went home to sleep. I had to be back early for doctor rounds in the morning.
     Day 2
I had the worst sleep of my life that night. It was terrible. The nurse told me not to worry about pumping breastmilk that night and just to get my rest. I got up at 5am to go see him because there was not much else for me to do since I wasn't sleeping anyway. When I got down they told me that there was no change overnight and he was still stable. I watched him sleep for a while then I left for shift change at 6am. When I came back for rounds I got to meet Daxon's doctor, Dr. Sankaran. He was absolutely wonderful and was so good at explaining everything to me. They did x-rays, bloodwork and blood gases and still could not figure out what the problem with his breathing was. He told me that they were going to continue to monitor him and hopefully soon the answers would appear. I started pumping for him every 3 hours today but he was not given the milk yet.
     Kaylee was allowed to come in today to see Daxon for the first (and only) time. It was really hard on her and she was really upset that he wasn't able to come home with us and that she was not allowed to see him again.